To: Whoever decides
to crack open this sad excuse for a note book and read my notes… this is
something to try and understand about your author…
I don’t believe people understand the upbringing of the vast
amount of African American people like me.
I was once confused on what I was meant to do in this world, at first I
thought it was all about the girls and being the center of attention, To have
the glorious shine of the lime light cast over me. I remember watching cars
drive by on my block and I would just sit there in awe, Me and my creative
imagination thought that maybe one day I
can wake up in a car of my dreams with the women that everyone desires.
Figures, I wanted the
life of a simple man walking around my hood with a simple plan. Now think for a
minute who could pass that up, the money and the cream, it only comes with the
price of ducking all those bullets and crooked schemes. You see I wanted the
life of a foolish man, one that showed I didn't have a foolish chance…
Dam…
I grew up from that
mind state; I learn that the slow road has a better success rate, I saw that
men that worked hard for their family, did right by their wives, & kept
living through the stressful days and trials will all find their own individual
heaven in the sky. I started to look for a better dream, something that could
keep my mind clean, but at the same time something that could keep my mind
playing. Because, you see, life is and will always be a game. It is actually
“thee” game & I always wanted to be challenged so I play. I wanted to find
the best way out, so I did, college was my next level in the game of life. It’s
a long trip to the road of success but after these four years it shall all be
worth it.
I found that women that
everyone else wants and I didn't even have to flip any bricks. I try to keep
her close so my eyes won’t wonder though, Temptation is a deadly sin, and it’s
easy to fall deep into the trap being the simple minded ones better known as men.
Realize that I grew up
without a father, no one ever showed me how to get pass the cannon fodder, &
no one showed me how to ride a bike or how to talk to a chick. These are things
I learned how to do on my own and add some of my own tricks. & I had to
learn through all my mistakes, I don’t take them as an
action or judgment that is misguided or wrong, I used them as lessons that I
can keep locked in my brain to keep me going on.
God, I wonder what is
going on with you, everyone calls you their father but to me you are cool. The
Idea you bring to our people makes me understand why you are around but at the
same time will all that happens to us things do start to fall short from your
crown. I learned everything when you wanted to teach it, I even keep minimal
contact with you just so you know that I believe in you; but you see man I’m
stuck in this world still trying to get the difference, why life can be so hard
but I see a whole lot of other people live through it so proficient, & it’s
sickening… not knowing what to do.
For now I will just stay here in school
& make my time worth it…
Truly yours:
A Miseducated Young
Black Genius
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